The Lost Hopes of Edward Elric
by TheDragonWalks
Summary: I'm sick. I'm a sick freak. He's my brother. My BROTHER. I love him.  I just want him to stay. That's why he can never ever know, as much as it kills me inside. Eventual Elricest, AlxMei, EdxOC. M for Elricest and Smut  warning before  AU
1. Chapter 1

"Niisan hurry up, Colonel Mustang is going to be upset!" Alphonse shouts, giving me an impatient look.

"Colonel Bastard can wait for all I care.." I grumble out, still pissed off at what he said at our last meeting.

"_So Fullmetal, feeling better after your 3-month leave?" Mustang says, smirking at me with that weird look in his eyes._

"_I was taking care of Al, you know, my brother who just got his body back?" I grit my teeth and glare at him. He's still wearing that damn smirk of his. I hate it. _

"_Yes, I saw. Your brother is looking quite well." A wild look washes over his face. "Quite well indeed."_

_I frown. "What exactly are you getting at here Mustang?" My hands ball up into fists. Not uncommon for me. _

"_Oh nothing, just that your little brother is becoming quite the attractive young gentleman." Another smirk graces his face. "But I'm sure you figured that out." _

_My eyes search his face for any sign of humor, and unfortunately I find none. A light blush creeps slowly onto my face. "So what? My little brothers handsome. I don't get what the big deal is."_

"_I'm not saying it's a big deal Fullmetal, I'm just saying that I as well find your little brother incredibly," He pauses to look at me with a gentle smile," and I mean incredibly attractive. Why, I think that once you leave, I may even give him a call." _

_My blood ran cold. "Stay away from Alphonse." Was all I could mutter out, considering I was using most of my energy to not punch Mustang square in the jaw. _

_He raises an eyebrow at my sudden change in mood. "What's wrong Fullmetal? Something bothering you? Maybe it's that you have feelings for your little brother. Beyond brotherly fellings hmm? i wouldn't be supr-" He was cut off by the sudden ringing of the phone. Convenient timing. _

"_Colonel, the Fuher wants to see you in his office. Immediately." Hawkeye said, her voice sounding mechanical and hollow over the intercom. Just like Al's did for 4 years. _

_Mustang looked at me with an expression of mock pity on his face. "Sorry for the," He paused," short conversation..." _

"_WHO YOU CALLING SO SHORT YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE WITH A MICROSCOPE!"_

* * *

><p>Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to this visit. Especially since Al was coming.<p>

Not that I hated Al. I could never hate Al. In fact, the feelings I had for Al were the complete opposite. I loved Al, with a passion that wasn't brotherly. I loved him like a man loves his wife, or vice-versa. I don't remember when i fell in love with him, but I remember the day I admitted to myself that I had feelings. i was 6 years old. 6. That meant my sweet, innocent little brother was 5. I was a sick-minded brother at 6 years old! I didn't think that was even possible.

I'd never tell him though. He'd leave me. He's never talk to me ever again, and tell everyone what a sick, disgusting freak his big brother was. And then I'd be kicked out the military, banished from Amestris, and have to live the rest of my life in exile and never get to see the beautiful face of my brother ever again.

"Niisan? Are you ok?" A worried tone calls form ahead of me.

I snap out of my daydream-no, more a nightmare, and look at Al who is giving me his Are-You-Ok-Because-I'm-Seriously-Worried face, or at least that's what he calls it. I call it another one of his adorable faces.

"Yeah, just thinking about whats for dinner!" I say, grinning at Al to show him I'm ok.

He laughs his angelic little laugh and gives me a look before turning around and walking inside. "That's my niisan, always thinking about food."

"Hey, wait up you little brat!" Is all I can shout before chasing after him. Once he sees me running after him, he speeds up. Soon it's become a full blown chase, and Al is shrieking and giggling happily ahead of me. I'm laughing and smiling and having a great time until Al rounds the corner and bursts into Mustang's office. My happy face turns to one of anger. Especially when I walk in and see Mustang checking Al out.

"Fullmetal. Alphoonnsee," He drags out the word Alphonse just to annoy me, I know it. He smirks at me and nods to Al, who is just looking at us with an expression of sheer happiness on his face. He then turns toward my brother and addresses him, "How is your new body suiting you?"

Al blushes lightly. "It's been great. Just using all my sense to their full extent again. Taste, smell, sight, sound, _touch." _He blushes again.

Mustang smiles. "I'm glad to hear that." Mustang then launches into a briefing about a trip we have to go on, but I'm not paying attention. I'm looking at Al, who is sitting down on Mustang's dirty couch. The sun is glinting off his chocolate brown hair, and right now he looks gorgeous. I bet the Colonel noticed too.

"-alright Fullmetal?" Roy asks, looking me dead in the eye.

"Yessir." I say, mock-saluting him. "Come on Al, we gotta get home anyway." As Al and I turn to leave, I let a small sigh of relief out. He hasn't asked me to stay behind so he can tell me about how delicious Al looks.

"Oh, and Alphonse?" Mustang calls out from behind us. S_.._ I think to myself, looking at the wall, trying to hide my flushed cheeks. I can practically hear him smirking.

"Yes Colonel?" Al replies, turning around to look at Mustang.

"Would you care to go on a date with me?"

* * *

><p>Right in front of me. Right in fucking front of me.<p>

Al was calling for me awhile back, but I stayed hidden. My hand hurt. I didn't think Mustang was gonna have such a hard head. Normally I'd resort to alchemy, but I took pity on him. Tears streamed down my face, and from looking in a puddle on the ground I could see my face was red and puffy. I just couldn't let Al see me like this. I don't think the fact that he asked Al to go out with him in front of me got me so angry. I think the fact that Mustang gave me a look that said I-Can-Have-Him-And-You-Can't-And-Never-Will really pissed me off. Why? Because it was true. Even if Al did return those feelings toward me (which would never happen, no matter how much I wished it would), we would never be able to be together. More hot tears slip from my eyes, and by now I've stopped caring who sees the Fullmetal Alchemist huddled in an alley, crying over his feelings for his little brother. I can hear footsteps approaching so I dry my eyes on my sleeve and sit, waiting to figure out who is approaching.

"Do you think he's over here?" A voice thick with worry calls. It sounds choked, as if they are keeping back sobs.

Al.

Oh god, I didn't even think about what this would do to him. He would think he did something wrong, and, and.. More sobs escaped from my throat. I hated myself.

"Nii-san..." Al murmurs. He's in front the dumpster I'm crouching behind. I can hear him cry, and the dumpster shakes when he slams his body against it. "Niisan... What did I do? Oh niisan, please come home.."

I'm holding back sobs, and I just wish I could get up and comfort him, wrap him in my arms and pull him in for a kiss.. But that's not gonna happen. I've given up on telling myself that its wrong to think these things. I mean, what's the point? Adding to my angst?

I don't even notice the soft meowing of the cat next to me until Al's crying ceases. "Is... that a cat?" Al asks aloud. I hear him turn and walk over to where I'm hiding.

_No, no, don't come over here! Please don't see me like this. Please... _

A soft gasp comes from Al. "You poor thing, all alone out here in the cold. I'l take you home, I'm sure niisan won't mind." I mentally scoff at that and Al scoops up the kitten in his arms. By now I can see his hands beside me, but he still can't see me yet. He cuddles the kitty in his arms for a few seconds before talking again. "Do you have any brothers or sisters? Let's take a look." He looks around the corner and comes eye to eye with me.

Silence.

"..."

"Niisan?"

"I'm sorry AI, I just didn-" I was cut off by Al, who pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.

"Niisan don't ever leave me again!" He mumbles into my shoulder, and then pulls me closer. His hands are wrapped around my neck, and he nuzzles himself into the crook of my neck. His face fits so perfectly there, it's almost scary. I can feel heat pooling in my groin. _Not now... _I guess I got a little excited being so close to my brother.

We stay like this for a few minutes before he pulls away and gives me a half-hearted smile. I can tell he knows somethings wrong, but he isn't asking.

"Let's go home, ok niisan?"

"Yeah, that sounds nice."

* * *

><p>"Hey Al?" I blurt out that night, as we're getting ready for bed.<p>

"Yeah?" Al replies, his voice smooth and soft. I roll over so I can look at him when I ask my question. Bad idea. He's standing there half-naked, only wearing light blue boxers. His perfect but pale skin glows in the moonlight, and his newly formed muscles are just starting to show. His long brown hair is swept over the side, and it's out of it's usual ponytail. He smiles at me, not even realising how incredibly sexy he is. I feel my member slowly come to life, and I pull the sheets over my waist so he doesn't see.

"What did you say to Mustang?"

Al looks at me, his storm grey eyes thoughtful. He lets out a small laugh after a few seconds. "Before or after you punched him?"

I blushed. "You know what I mean."

Al looked at me and smiled. He sat on the edge of my bed, and put his hand on my leg. "I helped him up, and I declined his offer."

I looked up at Al, my heart beating 5 times faster now. "You... what?"

Al looks at me, his eyes focused on mine. "I said no. I'm not really into men like that."

And my heart stops. "Oh." Is all I can squeak out.

"Yeah" Al sighs, before laying back on my bed. "Hey Al?" I ask," Can we go to bed now?" He just looks at me with a sad look in his eyes before he sighs, gets up, and crawls into his bed.

I just lay there, staring at the ceiling. To think, at one point, there was a little piece of me that thought maybe, just maybe, Al loved me like I love him. But nope, not anymore. I would live in anguish for the rest of my life. Suicide crossed my mind at some point, but I couldn't do that. Not to Al. It'd kill him inside. I didn't even realize I was crying until I heard Al calling for me.

"Niisan? Are you ok?"

I rolled over and looked at him. Still beautiful. "Yeah I'm fine Al."

He fidgeted a little in his bed before looking at me with tired eyes. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Yeah, yeah you can."

I watched him get up and crawl into bed next to me. Thank god my member was down. I turned toward the wall, ready to drift off to sleep when I felt two strong arms wrap around me.

Yeah, this is how it should be. Forever. Too bad it won't last.


	2. Chapter 2

Name: The Lost Hopes of Edward Elric

Word Count: 2, 695

Status: Incomplete

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST! If I did, there would be Almei errywhere. AND I MEAN ERRYWHERE. And Elricest. And Alwin. Personally, I prefer Al to Ed. If you can't tell.

A/N: Hello! I'm not a great writer and I'm in desperate need of a pre-reader. Since my age is young, I'm not that great at lemon and smut so bear with me through those parts. Please, request away and i might make a oneshot collection If i get enough requests (please request pairing and keyword) I do not write ANY AND I MEAN ANY Edvy. Sorry. But I might, if you ask nice enough I guess. ALSO THERE IS SOME ED/SELF ACTION. GETTIN A LITTLE FRISKKKKYYY WITH YOURSELF.

* * *

><p>It's been 4 weeks since Mustang asked Al out. We've had chats since then over the phone, but I've been avoiding the topic. Al and I went on a mission to Liore in the meantime. We saw Rose and Al,(being his innocent adorable self) volunteered to help rebuild parts of the town. No one recognized him at first because he wasn't a 6-foot tall suit of armor anymore. I wasn't necessarily complaining at first. But the 3rd night we were there, Al came home on the verge of tears. When I finally calmed him down, he told me of the men and women leering over him, inviting him into their "shops". One had even approached him and tried to assault him.<p>

I was, as usual, pissed.

"WHO THE FUCK WAS HE AL? I'LL KICK HIS ASS! WAS IT A GIRL? I'LL KICK HER ASS TOO! JUST TELL ME WHO IT WAS!" I couldn't contain my rage. Someone had tried to touch Alphonse? My Alphonse? No. I wasn't going to stand for it. As I was fuming I felt a cool hand on my shoulder.

Al was looking at the ground, and then looked up at me with a smile."I'm fine niisan, please just calm down."

I didn't wanna calm down. I really didn't. But I knew that if I found this guy and beat him senseless, (which I would have LOVED to do) Al would be upset with me. I really didn't like when he was upset with me. The first thing he did was sulk. He wouldn't let anyone see him, especially me. Then he did his angry phase, where he ignored me completely and was completely mean. And the final thing he did was the guilt trip where he would run into my arms, crying about how he was so sorry and how he would promise to never ever do this again. Then after he left I would cry in my room. The guilt was just too much.

So I didn't do anything. But after that I walked everywhere with Al and made it perfectly clear to all those freaks in the Red Light District that Al was mine. They didn't bother him anymore.

When we returned from Liore, Colonel Bastard called us into his office first thing.

_Shocker._

"Fullmetal, Alphonse," Was his addressing line. I noticed it was more curt than usual. "We have a visitor. All the way from Xing, too. I hear it's her second time crossing the desert. Quite an astonishing feat for a 13 year old, no?" (A/N: IN AUTHORS WORLD= Al is 14, Mei is 13, Ed is 15. They got their bodies back early now. Deal with it. )

"Alphonse!" A shrill voice calls from behind us, and I wince at the sound."Alphonse I missed you so much!"

"Mei!" Al's voice sounds a little too happy for my taste. He turns around only to be knocked to the ground by a small Xingese girl.

"Mei, you're back!" He laughs and hugs the girl close to his chest. She nuzzles her face in the crook of his neck, and a deep red blush forms on his cheeks. I had to wonder just how close the two got up North. It doesn't matter though, I never liked her to begin with, and this only makes me hate her more.

After about two minutes of their awkward hugging, I heard Mustang cough like he was addressing us. Al and Mei blushed and stood up. I didn't even notice they were holding hands.

Mustang cleared his throat and looked at me. "Elrics, Mei is going to be staying in Xing for a few months working as a temporary State Alchemist.. or should I say Alkahestrist. She is one of teh most talented in her field. Her skills almost match yours." He smirked, " She has nowhere to stay unfortunately." He raises an eyebrow at me.

"No way." I can hear myself saying, "No way, no how. I am not letting that-" I jab my finger at her, "stay with us. Can't she just stay in the dorms?"

Al tugs on my sleeve. I look over at him, and he has a big smile on his face. "C'mon niisan, she can stay with us can't she? Plleeeaasse?"

It's hard to say no to Al. Especially when he makes those big eyes, and smiles that wide smile that lights up his face. I don't mean to sound cheesy, but he's just so cute sometimes! I looked at him and sighed.

"Fine, but you can't ask me to take in any cats for a year."

Al squealed with delight, kissed me on the cheek, bade farewell to Mustang and grabbed Mei's hand and dragged her out of the office, shouting his thanks over his shoulder. My cheeks grew hot, and I glanced at Mustang who was just shaking his head, laughing.

"What're you laughing at?" I growled.

"Just childish innocence gone missing." He chuckled again. I gave him a sharp glare. He had my interest now. "What're you talking about Colonel?" I snap.

"I'm sure as you can tell, Al is no child anymore. And I think Mei's noticed too. " Mustang smirks again, "Just because he's younger than you doesn't mean you can rule out girls for him. And yes, Fullmetal, I think Mei and Al got to know each other pretty well up North. " I grimace at that last comment. He continues after acknowledging my frown. " Precisely my thoughts Fullmetal. I am just as unexcited about Mei's arrival as you are, but it is the Fuhrer's wish for her to be with Al, and as his subordinating officer I have to do as he wishes."

I cock my head at him, slightly confused. "What-what do you mean?"

He just smiles sadly. "The Fuher's wish is to reunite Xing and Amestris, especially after Ling, Lan-Fan, and Mei got all mixed up in the war with the Homunculi. And he found a perfect way to do it. He wants to take advantage of Al and Mei's relationship to bring the countries together. Basically, Al is going to marry Mei." I feel like my stomachs dropped to my knees. " But the worst part is, probably is that Al'd propose to Mei even if the Fuher didn't ask him to."

* * *

><p>By the time I got home that night, I felt like I was ready to drop. All I wanted to see was Al standing in the kitchen cooking something for dinner while wearing his old extra large blue t-shirt as a smock. But when I arrived I was met with a rather unpleasant sight: An empty, cold home, no food, no drink, and no Al. I walked into the kitchen, sliding my coat off at the door and dropping it on the floor. I looked around the empty room, searching for a sign. As I peered around the room I caught sight of a note on the table. I walked over, picked it up, and began to read:<p>

_Dear Niisan, _

_Sorry for leaving you like that! I was really excited and wanted to show Mei around. We came home right away and I showed her around. I didn't want her sleeping on the couch, so I decided that Mei could have my room and I would stay in yours for a few months. I know you only have one bed so we'd have to share for a while, but if you want I can buy another. Whatever you want niisan. Mei and I went out for dinner to catch up, so we'll be home in a bit. I made some food and put it in the icebox, so just heat it up, ok? And if you go out, don't stay out too late. _

_Love, _

_Al _

I sighed and put the letter down, feeling a little bittersweet. I was happy because I got to sleep with Al for a few months, but slightly upset at the fact that he suggested we get separate beds. Did he want to be apart from me? Well, I guess it was only a matter of time. My little Al had to grow up someday.

I stalked over to the icebox and pulled out the frozen meal. A clap and a flash of blue light later, I was staring at a hot meal. I licked my lips and walked over to the table holding the plate in my right hand so I wouldn't burn myself. I slid the plate on the table and flopped down in the chair. I rolled my aching shoulders and stretched my legs, wincing at the queer sounding pop I heard. I leaned over my plate and scooped up a forkful of food. I slowly brought it to my mouth, ut just as I was about to chomp down I stopped.

I didn't even notice Mei's note.

_Dear Bean, _

_Hello Edward. I know we haven't talked in awhile, but I just wanted to thank you for letting me stay here, even though you only did it for Al. That's fine with me, but I thought you should know something. When Al and I were up North, we kind of- well, how do I put it, kissed? I don't think it really counted as a kiss to most, but I know for me it did. Even though I met him in the armor, I still have feelings for him. I just thought you should know. _

_Sincerely, _

_Mei _

I dropped my fork, not even caring that food spilt over me. My mouth stood agape as I stared down at the piece of paper on the table. Al kissed Mei? And he didn't tell me? But- we always told each other everything! A pang of guilt stabbed me. Well, almost everything.

I pushed the food away fro me with a little too much force, seeing as it flew off the table and smashed to a billion pieces on the ground. I laid my head on the table and let the tears slide down my cheeks. I must have been there for hours, because I only stopped crying after I felt a soft hand on my shoulder.

"Niisan?" I froze and discreetly wiped my eyes.

"Al! When did you get home?" I asked, smiling nervously. I nodded to Mei who was looking rather concerned from behind Al.

Al blinks a few times, then gives me a friendly smile. "Why, just now niisan. Were you sleeping?"

"Yes."

More confused blinks."Well alright then, are you ready to go to bed?"

A grunt escapes me and I stand up and follow Al to our bedroom. He stops at the door and gestures for me to walk inside. I give him a quizzical look and he smiles at me. He tells Mei goodnight from the door, and after I enter he shuts the door behind him. He slides down the door and gives me a giddy smile.

I take a seat on the bed and stare at him with confused eyes. He just smiles at me with a drunken haze, and stands up to get changed for bed.

"You know niisan, I'm feeling rather warm today. I think I'll pass on a shirt tonight." Al's acting strangely giddy and it's kind of freaking me out.

"Al, you ok? You're acting kinda... weird." I'm not looking at him now, as I'm too focused on pulling off my shoes. Damn shoes.

"I'm fine niisan, really. I'm just a little.. er... ecstatic." He giggles.

Still looking at my shoes, I grunt. "Why's that?"

"I kissed Mei."

I look up at him for the first time in a few minutes and my breath hitches for two different reasons.

1st, he just revealed that he kissed Mei. He kissed her! That's a definite sign of liking someone. There goes all hope for me. All hope. Or maybe he's trying to cover it up... No Ed, don't get excited.

2nd, Al was standing there half naked. I mean THAT is a sight. I know I've seen it tons of times, but it's still fucking breathtaking every time. My eyelids flutter softly as I feel my blood rush to my lower region. Awh shit, I'm all but normal right?

Al smiles at me and crawls in bed next to me. He snuggles into my side and wraps his arms around me.

"Al, get off! I still gotta take a shower!" I shove Al off and jump up, throwing off my clothes in the process.

Al just laughs as I run naked into the bathroom. I rush into the shower and twist the handle as fast as I can, hoping the cool water will wash away my problem. It doesn't work.

NOTE*NOTE* SMUT AHOY* LEAVE WHILE YOU CAN! LEEEAAAAAVEEE. SKIP. SKIPPPPPIT. SKIIIPPIT NOAW. DO IT.

I WARNED YOU.

I press myself against the wall of the shower and turn the heat to a comfortable warm. I rub my back against the cool tiles, and find my hand sliding slowly towards my dick. I grab it lightly with my left hand, and brace myself up with my automail hand. I slowly start to stroke myself, first slow than quicker. I bit my lip, closed my eyes, and imagined the one think I knew would bring me to a climax. Al. His soft, supple lips gliding over my collarbone, his warm flesh hand rubbing circles on my stomach. I could almost feel his hips grinding down on mine, his breath coming out in soft but heavy pants. And oh my god, teh sound of his climax. I would give everything I had to hear it.

"Ahh..-ahh..-ahhh..-AHH!" I cry out in the privacy of my bathroom. I can feel something squirt on my hands, and my buddy shudders and I slowly slide to the ground.

"Ahhl-phnsee..." I murmur quietly to myself, my eyes closing.

***END THE YUCKY!***

"Niisan?"

My eyes fly open and I stand up quickly. "A-a-al!"

"Are you alright?" He pauses to pant, "You've been in there awhile."

"Y-yeah Al, I'm fine. Just go back to bed, okay? I'll be there in a few."

I hear a sigh, then Al responds," Okay Brother." Then in a hushed voice I hear him talk again. "C'mon Mei, I'll put you to bed now."

"Mmmm fine.." She giggles, her voice a whisper. a

My mind is racing now. What was he doing with Mei? Was he.. was he...? No. Al was probably just being a chivalrous gentlemen. Yeah, that's it. I straighten up and turn the water on again, hoping the warmth can wash my worries away.

* * *

><p>After being in the bathroom for what seems like hours, I finally emerge, fresh and clean. It's a change from my usual self, and I'm sure Al will appreciate it. I stalk into our room, and look at our bed. Al's not in it. I have a tiny panic-attack, but then I notice he's sitting comfortably at the desk reading a book.<p>

"Al." I nod towards the bed. He smiles, puts his book down, and turns off the light. I slip into bed, and pat the space next to me. Al slides in and snuggles up against my chest. I just smile back and wrap my arms around him and kiss him lightly on the forehead as we both drift to sleep. I could get used to this.

A/N: I suck at life.


	3. Chapter 3

Word Count: 2486

WARNING: Incest, Yaoi. Almei, Elricest, onesided Edwin.

A/N: I am not Winry bashing! I love Winry! I love EdWin too! I'm just looking into her thoughts.

"Fullmetal. Fullmetal. Wake up. Fullmetaaalll."

I felt something poking my side, and opened my eyes groggily to look at an incredibly amused Roy Mustang.

"Jush fahve more minuesh..." I close my eyes again, only to hear a musical laugh from behind me.

"Oh Colonel, is niisan sleeping again? I can't imagine why he'd be so tired though." Al chirps happily, waving to the Colonel.

I shoot up in my seat at the sound of his voice. "Wha I wash awake the whole time.." I hear Mustang and Al's laughter in the background, but I can't even keep my eyes open I'm so sleepy. I lie back down on my desk in a small haze, until I feel a soft tug on my jacket, and a sweet voice in my ear.

"Hey niisan, I'm taking my alchemy test today, remember? Are you gonna come?"

My eyes shoot open at this, and now I'm fully awake. Kinda.

I give him a big smile and a thumbs up. "Of course I am Al!"

He gives me another smile. "Okay let's go! Oh yeah, Mei's taking her test too. She's going first though. Come on, let's go watch her!" He grabs my wrist and pulls me from my seat, dragging me towards the testing grounds.

* * *

><p>When we finally arrive, Mei has already been introduced and is about to begin. I cringe as Al waves to her, passing it off as a chill when he questions my strange behavior.<p>

He offers me his coat. What a guy.

A trumpet announces the start of Mei's exam. I zone out, because it's nothing I haven't really seen before. Or felt before. She may be small, but that girl is pretty damn powerful.

A few minutes pass, and I finally snap out of my short nap at the sound of resounding applause. She passed with flying colors, no doubt about it. Even though she is only a temporary state alchemist, she is still required to take the test.

Al shakes my shoulder and tells me it's his turn. I give him a quick pat on the back and send him out onto the field.

I watch as he skips out there and asks Colonel Mustang for something. I still have no idea what he is going to do because he said he wanted it to be a surprise. I don't have any doubts about him passing though. Al is just as skilled of an alchemist as I am. No one really knows that though, because no one ever talks about Al. Only me. Me, me, me. What's so great about me? They offered Al immediate entrance to the military without the need to take the test, but Al declined, saying he needs to be tested like everyone else.

A trumpet announces the start of Al's exam. We make eye contact, and I give him a thumbs up.

He looks at the crowd, gives a half-assed smile, and turns around and starts walking towards the empty suits of armor laying on the ground. I twitch slightly. Those suits are identical to the ones Al was trapped inside for 5 years.

He claps his hand and places them on one of the suits of armor.

Nothing happens.

I stare at Al, who has turned around with a smug smile on his face. All of the sudden, the crowd is gasping and excited murmurs reach my ears at the sight of the suit of armor standing up, clapping it's hands, and placing it upon another suit of armor which stand up after a moment's hesitation. The process repeats, until all of the suits of armor are standing. There had to be at least 50 up there. Al then closes his eyes, and claps his hands on the ground. I watch in awe as the suits of armor start to attack one another. After a few minutes of this amazing display, Al claps his hand once again and the suits all fall dormant again. Al then gestures for someone to come over. A nervous looking soldier walks over and Al smiles and says something that we can't hear, seeing we are at least 40 feet away. He visibly relaxes, and once again Al claps his hands and places them on his chest.

The soldier jerks, and Al's face pales. He quickly regains his composure though, and he slowly backs away from the frozen soldier. All of the sudden, the shoulder jerks, moving backwards with Al.

No fuckin' way.

He's controlling him! He's fucking controlling him!

Al moves hand up, and the soldier follows suit. Al claps his hands and places them on the ground and forms a statue. The soldier does the same. Even though he doesn't practice alchemy, Al's skill is passed through him to the soldier.

Even my jaw drops at this. The crowd goes WILD. I can hear Mei's excited cheering from beside me, and I can't help but join in.

Al places his hands on the soldier's chest again, and the soldier immediately straightens up, then relaxes and exits. Al bows after, then exits the field.

I push past the mob of cheering people, slamming one cheering onlooker into another. After what seems like 15 minutes I break out of the mass of fans and make my way over towards Al. He's currently walking over towards the building, but he's weaving a little bit. Is he ok?

And then he collapses.

I can feel myself running faster now, using every ounce of my strength to get to Al who is currently laying in a heap on the ground.

When I finally reach him, he's barely awake, eyelids fluttering. Honestly, I'm surprised no one else came to him first.

He gives me a weak smile after acknowledging my presence . I pick his torso up and cradle him, looking into his sleepy grey eyes. He looks at me and says,

"I get really weak after I do soul alchemy."

And then he blacked out.

* * *

><p>4 weeks have passed since Al's exam. He passed with flying colors, obviously, but he had to stay at home resting for a he gets so tired after his powerful alchemy, the military assigned him a partner.<p>

Fuckin' Mei.

I was pissed. Why the hell was I not Al's partner? No one is going to take better care of him than me. But because of the Fuhrer's plan to reunite Xing and Amestris, I get stuck with sparkles over here.

At least I still see him at home.

I've been slightly excited at the fact that Al and Mei don't go out as much anymore. When they get home from work, they usually part ways till dinner.

But on that note, I don't spend as much time with Al either.

Tomorrow I'm going to go visit Winry, and Mei is going to be returning to Xng for a week. Al has a playdate with Elycia all week, bless his soul. I'm not sure if I'm excited or not. I know she has a crush on me, and this weekend I've decided to let her down easy.

Better late than never, right?

I'm standing at the train station, listening to Al blab on and on about what he wants me to tell Winry. I give him a look, and he quiets down. I asked him if he wanted to come with me, but I think he thinks that I like Winry, so he told me that I should go alone and have some "special time" with Winry.

Ew.

the train whistle blows, signaling my time to leave. I give Al a wave and tell him 'bye before I start to walk away. I'm almost on the train when I hear Al calling me.

"Niisan! Wait!"

i whirl around to come face to face with Al, who has appeared right behind me. He wraps his arms around me in a hug, and I stiffen slightly. He places his head in the crook of my neck and I can feel him smile against it.

"Love you niisan. Come home safe, ok?"

I can't help but feel a little bittersweet after I'm on the train, which is chugging its way out of Central Station.

Sure Al just told me he loves me, but he told me to come home safe. Safe? Shouldn't it have been soon? Does he not want me to return soon? Doe she expect me to stay there and marry Winry or something?

Shit. Angst really IS my shtick.

* * *

><p>**Winry POV**<p>

A knock on the door disrupts me from my work.I stand up and look in the mirror on my way downstairs to open the door.

I admire myself, and adjust my top so my chest looks slightly larger. I silently place my wrench in my back pocket, just in case.

I adjust a few more things on my outfit, and the knocking grows louder, more impatient. I check myself one more time, and happy with my appearance I open the door.

"Hey Win, long time no see."

Ed.

He's leaning against the railing in his classic outfit which consists of tight black jeans that leave little to imagine, red and black elevator shoes (though he doesn't need them anymore), a tight black tank top exposing his muscles and shiny automail, and a red jacket clutched in his hand.

I almost step out to hug him, when my mind finally starts again.

"Edward! What did you do to your automail now? I swear if it's broken..." I raise my wrench menacingly.

He gives a sharp laugh and smiles. "Nah, I just came by to visit."

I smile at this notion. He came to visit me! Me! Winry! For no reason!

Then i start thinking, where's Al? Ed hates to go anywhere without Al.

"Hey Ed..? Where's Al?"

He frowns slightly and looks at me, golden eyes boring directly into mine. "He stayed in Central. Dunno why, something about me needing some time."

I give a weak smile. While it's nice Ed's here, I can't help but shake the feeling that Ed only came because Al asked him to.

I put on a good face and invite him inside. He happily obliges and flops down on the couch.

I raise my eyebrow at this and chuckle under my breath. "Make yourself at home." I murmur sarcastically.

He grins, and then sits up. "Whatcha wanna do today Win?

i've got a few days, we can do whatever you like."

I look at him like he turned into an octopus or something. Ed wants my opinion on what WE should do together? I may have to thank Al later, because I don't know what he said to Ed, but whatever it is I'm liking the new Edward.

"Ummmh..." I pause, than my face lights up as I realize what we should do, " Let's go swimming!"

He stand up and gives me a thumbs up. "Alright! As long as I don't have to swim." He then leaves and wanders down the hall to go get changed.

I give myself a mental high-five for thinking of this as an idea. It's kind of a win-win for me. I get to see Ed shirtless, and he get's to see me in my new bikini. Plus, I'm a great swimmer and he sucks, so maybe I can save him. Who knows, he may even need mouth-to-mouth. I chuckle to myself and wander upstairs to get changed.

* * *

><p>When I finally get back downstairs, I see Ed laying out on the couch in blue shorts and his black tank on him. I'm wearing my new deep purple bikini under my traditional jumpsuit.<p>

He gives me a goofy smile when he sees me. "Geez Win, dontcha own normal clothes?" I give him a sharp glare, all in good jest though. He lets out a laugh and heads out the door, hollering for me to follow.

We make pleasant conversation on our to the lake, and when we finally arrive, he lets out a long sigh and throws our stuff on the ground. "Come on Win, let's go!" He rips his shirt off, revealing his tanned and toned chest and gleefully skips towards the water.

"I thought you weren't swimming!" I call, slipping out of my jumpsuit. He doesn't even turn around to reply. "Yeah, well, I changed my mind!"

I run over and kick some water at him and he turns around, with a playful smile on his face and stops short.

"Something wrong Ed?" He points to my swimsuit. "That's a bit... er.. revealing, dontcha think Winry?"

I give him a twirl. "What? I think I look pretty cute." Ed tenses up for a second, then looks down. It is silent for a second, the only sound I hear is the waves crashing onto the shore.

"I-I-I'm sorry Win. I can't do this anymore." He chokes out. He looks up at me with a pained expression. "I'm sorry, but I'm in love with someone else."

I can't necessarily say I was expecting this. I stood there with a shocked expression dancing across my features.

Ed drops his head. "I'm so sorry Win.." He sighs. "I really wish it coulda been you but.. I don't know. You don't choose who you love. And I love you win. I really, really do. Just not like that. You're like a sister to me, and I really want you to be happy."

My hands balled into fists, and I glare at Ed. "How long?"

He raises an eyebrow in confusion. "Eh?"

"How long have you been in love with this girl?" He looks away. So he doesn't even have the courtesy to look me in the eyes?

"A-a-a long time." His gaze rests on the water which laps at our calves. "I should go Win. Really. I'm so sorry..."

I just watch as he attempts to run out of the water. The drag of the current trips him and he falls flat on his face in the water.

I laugh.

He turns around and looks at me. "Why are you laughing?"

I sniff and wipe my eyes, my laughter brought tears to my cerulean eyes. "It's a hell of a lot better than crying. Besides, serves you right for leading me on for, oh, I don't know, 10 years?" He gapes at me. I roll my eyes, and put on a brave face. "Get out of here Ed. Just go. I don't wanna see you anymore. Next time, just send Al."

I turn around and wade out into the water till it's up to my chest. I sigh and slip under the water, hoping that when I come up for air, Ed is out of sight, and the water will mask my tears.

* * *

><p>(AN: LOL OOC SORREEEH. Here's something I need to ask you guys. Do you want an Ed angst ending, a happy ending, or a confusing happy/angsty plot-y ending?)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hello! Another chapter TWO WHOLE DAYS AAFTER? I'm way too good for you guys. Anyway, I'm going to do an alchemy-confusing happy ending.

Words: 2,427

Warning: YAOI INCEST. THERE IS SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER. MY APOLOGIES. Elricest, Almei, one-sided EdWin. Roy is going to become Parental!Roy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Mrs. Meyers. Steal her and die.

* * *

><p>Ed's Point of View<p>

By the time I got to the station that night, I was seriously regretting my decision. Maybe I should've just stayed with Winry, married her, and had kids.

But while I had to account for her happiness, what about mine? Didn't I deserve to be happy too?

I laugh at myself as I buy my ticket home, earning a stare from the ticket master. She hands me the ticket slowly, and I let out soft growl. She drops the ticket into my hand and gives me a smile.

"Always were a feisty one, eh Ed?"

I just blinked at her. I had no idea who she was, and this was kinda weird. "Ummmh?"

She gave me a smile. "Don't you remember? I used to bring your mother flowers every Sunday."

My eyes lit up. "Mrs. Meyers! It's so good to see you! I didn't recognize you at all! How have you been?"

She laughed and looked me in the eye. "Just fine and yourself?" She pauses for a minute. "And how is dear Alphonse? The last time I saw him he was 6 feet tall and was bound to that suit of armor. Did you restore your bodies yet?"

I laughed again. Mrs Meyers was smarter than she looked. She was also an alchemist, but she was more into the agricultural side of alchemy. "I'm doing great. Al's back in his rightful body, and we're living in Central. I actually just came to see Winry."

Mrs. Meyers raised an eyebrow. "Why isn't Alphonse with you?"

Nonchalantly scratching the back of my head, I looked down. "I came to spend some "special" time with Winry." I figured Winry would tell Mrs. Meyers about our "break-up" later. Everyone in Risembool figured Winry and I were gonna get married. Were they in for a surprise or what?

Mrs. Meyers just chuckled. "But why? You don't love Winry."

I blankly stared at her. "I-uh.."

The train whistle blows in the distance. She straightens up and looks at me, her soft gray hair framing her wrinkled face. "Your trains her Edward, you should hurry and get on it."

I bade her farewell and start to walk away. Halfway to the train I stop. "Mrs. Meyers..?" I ask turning around.

She looks at me from her ticket booth. "Yes?"

"How did you know I wasn't in love with Winry?"

She smiles warmly at me. "It is quite obvious Ed. You're in love with your brother instead."

* * *

><p>When I got back to Central a day after I left, Al was surprised. No, more like angry.<p>

"NIISAN YOU IDIOT!" Is the first thing I hear when Al swings the door open at our apartment.

"Hey Al…"

"Winry called me last night! She said that you showed up, acting all flirty like, than you told her that you were in love with someone else!"

"Heh… It's not as bad as it seems Al… "

He glares at me, grabs my shirt, and throws me inside. I roughly land on the floor, and he jumps on top of me and grabs my shoulders. "Not as bad as it seems? Are you serious? She's shattered! She was sobbing hysterically because you chickened out on telling her how you feel and made up some stupid story on how you love someone else!"

Color rises to my cheeks when I realize how close Al is to me. I can feel his hips resting on mine, his pelvis grinding on mine in a completely non-sexual way, except I wish it was the sexual way.

He lowers his face so his nose is centimeters from mine. "Why niisan? I can't stand to hear her cry." He lowers his face so he's even closer to me.

My breathing starts to quicken, along with my heart rate. Holy crap, is he going to kiss me? At the last possible second, just when I think he's gonna press his rosebud lips onto mine, he presses his lips to my cheek.

I'm slightly saddened by this, but ecstatic all the same. I wrap my arms around him, forgetting about the awkward position we are in.

We lay there in peace for a minute before Al speaks again. "Do you love someone else niisan?"

I pause momentarily. "Yeah."

Al pulls off of me, straddling my hips. "Who is it?"

I blush lightly and shove him off. "None of your business!"

He grins at me. "Awh come on, we tell each other all our secrets!"

I feel a little guilt pinch at me. "No, not this one. I will tell you when the time comes."

He sighs and frowns. "Alrrright." He stands up and brushes himself off. "I'm going to take a shower, than we'll go out for dinner, okay?"

I nod in approval, and return to my book.

* * *

><p>20 minutes later I look up from my incredibly interesting book on alkahestry that Al left laying out. The water had stopped running so I assumed Al was done with his showering.<p>

"Al? Hey Al? I need to pee! Hurry up and finish!" I waited for a minute and upon hearing silence I knocked again.

No sound.

A bit of worry fills me as I pound on the door, hearing no movement on the other side.

Shit!

I slam into the door, breaking it off its hinges. It slams on the ground with a bang, and a sound of splashing water fills my ears.

"Niisan!"

I turn into the direction of the bath, to see Al standing _stark naked_ in the middle of the hot water.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck shit.

I blush deep red, and am not hugely surprised by the sudden rush of blood to my groin.

Al sighs and glares at me lightly, still naked. "Niisan calm down, I was just sleeping in the bath is all."

I turn away from him and fill my mind with images of a naked Mustang to try and destroy my erection. "Al, put some clothes on geez…"

He glares at me some more before speaking. "I wouldn't be naked if you didn't barge in! At least I was done with my bath when you barged in. Geez niisan, have some manners."

He shooes me out, and frankly I'm happy to take this opportunity.

"I'll be in our room Al."

He calls something out about coming out in 10 minutes and I quickly alchemize a new door for the bathroom, slip it on it's hinges and rush to our bedroom.

As soon as I arrive at my destination, I flop onto my bed, discarding my no extremely tight jeans. As soon as they are laying on the floor, I slip out of my boxers exposing my throbbing erection to cool air.

Shit.

I slowly grasp my penis in my left hand and start to stroke quickly. I haven't excactly seen Al naked since I brought him back, and I was too excited/worried/scared/upset/estatic to look at Al's nakedness.

This image, however, was going to be permanently burned in my brain.

As I feel the semen bubbling in my shaft, all my thoughts are on Al. His smooth body, closer, his beautiful face, closer still, his amazing sweetness, almost there, his- my body shudders- erect penis… And I'm there. My body shudders and I moan in release as I come hotly over my fingers.

"Ahhhl!"

After I clean up and Al and I are dressed again, we leave the house to go grab a bite to eat at a local café.

Al's blabbing about some story of him and Mei on their recent travels but I brush it off. Not like I want to hear about Mei anyway.

When we finally arrive at our destination, Al looks at me with a tired expression. "Ready to go in?"

I shrug, the location of where we eat is indifferent to me as long as I can spend time with Al.

Just as we are going to set foot inside, I hear someone screech Al's name and the sound of car tires skidding.

Al and I whirl around and stare at the black car that's pulled up on the curb outside the café

Who else should step from the car than the lovely Roy Mustang?

"Alphonse." Did his voice have a hint of distress behind it?

"Yes Colonel? May I ask why you're here?"

Roy sighs and looks at me. "We need you to go on a mission. It's incredibly important, and we need your skills." He gives us a distressed look. "This mission could prevent a war."

As soon as Al's mouth opens to speak I cut him off. "Hell no. I'm going in his place." No way in hell was I letting Al go! If he got hurt….

Mustang sighs. "That's fine."

Al punches me on the shoulder. "Niisan! I can take this mission! I'm not six anymore, so stop acting like it. I'm going."

Mustang raises an eyebrow. I shove Al away and walk towards Mustang. "No Al."

"Niisan!"

I climb into the car and slam the door shut, not looking at Al's angry face.

Once Roy climbs in, he starts the car to drive away. I roll down the window to wave to Al and apologize. As soon as I stick my head out the window I wish I hadn't because the last thing I hear Al say is:

"NIISAN! I HATE YOU!"

So many times in my head had I imagined Al saying that, whether it was because he hated me condemning me into a metal shell for so many years or whether it was because I had somehow fucked up and kissed him. I just never imagined he'd actually say it.

Sure I felt numb but hey, I had a country to save. Mustang looked at me through the driver's mirror before sighing.

"I'm sorry about this Fullmetal." He sighs again. "But we are going to need you to, umh, disguise yourself. This isn't exactly a normal mission. The reason we selected Alphonse was because of his, ehm, feminine looks. Normally we would have had Mei do this but she's out of town."

I sat up, suddenly interested. "Woah woah woah, what does my brother's feminine-ness have to do about anything?"

Mustang looks at me and sighs, again. "We were sort of going to ask Al to dress as a girl and infiltrate using his feminine charm."

"WHAT?" I'm leaning of my seat and am glaring daggers at Mustang. "YOU WERE GONNA MAKE AL INTO A GIRL?"

Mustang chuckles. "You handled that better than I thought you would. We were gonna send you pictures of it though.."

I couldn't help but imagine what Al would look like as a girl. That was irrelevant though. I can't believe that BASTARD was gonna make Al dress as a girl!

Mustang sighs and hands me a list. "Change your hair color to black and braid it like Mei's. You're being deployed in 10."

Isn't military life grand?

(A/N: WAYYY TO LAZY TO WRITE MISSION SCENES. IF YOU WANT, I'LL DO IT AS A SEPARATE FIC)

8 weeks later I was on a train home to Central. According to the note Mustang gave me, Mei was on a mission solo, and Al was training young alchemists in Central.

By the time I arrived home it was pitch-black and I was extremely excited. I was finally going to see Al again!

When I unlocked the front door, I heard someone mumble a greeting from Al's room.

I dropped my bags on the ground and ran towards the sound. "Al! Alphonse!" I didn't even notice I was still using my girl voice.

I ran into the room, breathless and sweaty. I was still dressed as a girl, but unfortunately I had forgotten that fact.

"Mei?" Al hiccuped from inside the room. When I stepped inside, my shoulders drooped. Al was drunk. Al only drank when he was so emotionally torn up inside that he couldn't stand it anymore. Did he and Mei fight? Even if Al did break up with Mei, it wasn't worth it to see Al in that state.

"Mei? Ish dat you? Whyre you back sho soon?" He hiccuped again and stood up, wrapping his arms around me. "I mish niishan."

As soon as I opened my mouth to respond when I felt a pair of lips smash onto mine.

HOLY SHIT!

I placed my hands on his shoulders to push him away when I felt his tongue slip into my mouth.

Oh god. I was so not letting go now, even though I'd regret it like hell later. I feverishly kissed him back, fighting with his tongue in a mock-battle. He easily won, and he pulled me onto the bed with him. I was too damn happy to even care that he thought I was Mei right now, seeing as I had unfortunately forgotten that fact.

When i felt a hand slip inside my shirt, I pulled closer. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention I had to transmute boobs onto myself? No? Well I did. And to be honest, I had never touched them. I felt too awkward about it. SO when Al gripped one, I cried out in pleasure.

Our tongues fought some more, and Al roamed my body with his hands. After our pitiful foreplay was done, he began to unbutton my skirt. That's when I realized that this had to stop. I flung myself away from him and quickly pulled my clothes back on. He fell onto the bed and looked at me. "Whash wrong?"

I sighed and kissed his lips lightly. "Not tonight, sweetheart." Using my best Mei-voice possible. He raised his eyebrows. "Whay're you actin sho weird?"

"I'm not acting weird..." I said, slowly backing away.

Al groaned and pulls off his pants. "Geez, that's not fair. I'm sho hard I hurt..." He places a hand on his erection and lightly srokes it.

And that's when I lost my self control.

Flinging myself onto the bed I slammed my mouth onto his erection and sucked him so hard he came within seconds.

"Meeh-Mei!" He called, fisting his hands in my hair. I swallowed his release greedily, making sure not one drop escaped my greedy lips. As soon as he finsished, he mumbled something softly and fell asleep.

Just. Like. That.

I cleaned him up, dressed him, returned to normal Edward, laid on the other side of the bed, and cried.

I cried and cried and cried.

Why?

Because I just raped my brother. And the last thing he said to me (Edward, not "Mei") was I hate you.


End file.
